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65 Movie Reviews

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You are a strong writer and a great artist! You would get all five stars but, you creeped me out and this is catagorized as an original comedy. There is no way I am giving you five stars: on the premises that I wanted to laugh and now I'm scared.

:(

Gi-go responds:

But you see, I now get to laugh about you being scared. See how this works?

Thank you!

This only gets 3 stars for the story. As an animation as a whole it was very lacking. The narration was not standardised, but in virtue of that I can see where you tried to place emphasis.

But the story was great and you emulated the nature of the characters perfectly. I was ready to click it off but it was somehow, very, compelling.

This is a list of what you need-
Proficient Animators
Voice Acting
A secondary writer to help you with your work

If you go to the Flash Forum, and Collabs section I am sure you will find these things.

With the right people you may actually be able to create your own Dragon-Ball Saga.

Good Luck.

bocodamondo responds:

go figure...

That was fucking creative

And in turn so fucking brilliant.

Well done! I would give this a million likes if I could! Keep up the great work!

I think you are a very good emerging artist!

Keep up the creative work!

That was so sad! :(

Poor little fella' :(

I love that character

He talks like Dexter (Dexters Laboratory). Such a brilliant character, or idiolect to adopt. I picked it up on that whole "You see, I was drinking a cup of coffee".

Love it!

I won't dispute this is good

But I'm curious as to why it's got to the top scoring so fast. There hasn't been that many votes on it either. I think this is evidence to suggest that we need to make some alterations to the voting systems All Time Top Scoring formula, not because this is bad! But because it's hit Top Scoring of All Time, quite quickly.

This was like an old NG Cartoon

In the behaviour and the music ad everything, it's got that integrity of being the pure product of Newgrounds and without anything else. Part of what makes it wonderful!

And half way through during Mad World you really deepened Charlie's character. I like that :)

Excellent Work! I feel like passing this onto Tom! He likes to see things that have been built out of Newgrounds without that much contribution from anywhere else.

In response to Elfman

I thought the animation was sort of a unique style, you couldn't replicate it, so I don't think scrutinizing it for the sake of realism is really necessary. Anyway you don't get many good frame by frame animations out there anymore. The whole portal gets flooded with shit a lot of the time and its hard to crop out the good stuff, so I'm glad this made the front page.

It was really well presented

Characters worked well and were really well sort of represented which is one of the things I look for in a flash, how the characters communicate with each other and how effectively that adds to the story. The joke was quite funny and was sort of enhanced by all of what I just said!

The characters were good the animation was brilliant in character representation.

Keep it up! I hope to see more just like this! Its a good thing you were in a rush. I think if you had done any more it would have really dragged on and gotten stale. For what you were trying to achieve (dramatic irony) I think you hit it nail on the head with the timing on it all. It wasn't too short, where I would get a small chuckle but it wasn't too long that I get bored. That medium in timing is essential, and though the length of time these things should go on is all relative, because you given yourself substantial time to set it all up right with the characters in particular it worked really well. I just found it really funny! Sort of like Leo & Satan funny, not because of the jokes but more to do with the timing.

That being said I think you should put yourself a time limit in making flashes and then think what can I do to make it better. The fact that you were rushed only seems to have contributed to the character presentation. For example when the, wine bottle is sort of startled at the end of the solo with the white background, you can tell you rushed that but the very abruptness of it leaves it more effective then if you did something really fancy and graphical.

I'm going to leave you with an example of how the same principle is applied in writing.

----
Chekov's advice is that drama is heightened during passages of markedly tighter writing, and therefore if one wants to punctuate the tension of a moment one should describe it "cooly", using as few descriptors as possible. If you have written a good story the sentence "There's a kid out there; he's big, and he's mean, and he's kind of scared." is more powerful than "Through the window you can see a kid. He's a hulking figure, has a reputation for a short fuse. Yet, I can't help feeling that inside he's just a scared little boy

src: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1 241883
---

Good job! 8/10. Because there is always "lots of" room for improvement.

TwistedGrim responds:

...what are you talking about? D:

MMA / WJJF Martial Artist. Carnivore. Philosophy Undergraduate. Cheerleading Champion. Full-time winner. Ask me for twitter account details if you want to land personal contact.

Callum Dempsey Leach @ArmouredGRIFFON

Age 31, Male

College.

College

England

Joined on 1/12/06

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